Music Reviews: October 2005

Hard Fi - Stars of CCTV (WEA/Atlantic)
You ever wake up next to a smokin' hot chick/dude/goat/whatever (I can't discriminte) only to scream out loud "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??!!!"? That's exactly what I said when I got this little sparkplug in the mail. Sure, the comparisons are inevitable. Stereo MCs. Kasabian. Blah blah blah. But I don't care, because in one way or another, everything sounds like everything. Just ask anyone who prays at the altar of Quantum Physics. And anyone who can rhyme "picture window" with "Heathrow" gets my vote. OK, at times Kelly is a little lyrically challenged, but he's so dreamy!!! Seriously, though. The songs are infectious, the production is crunchy and the instrumentation is outstanding. And NME likes it, so it must be good!!!!

Get these: "Cash Machine," "Tied Up Too Tight," "Unnecessary Trouble." Actually, fuck it. Get the whole damn album.

Wax it if you like: umm, waxing it?


Ambershades - Clap Clap Clap (Import)
Forget whatever the hype of the moment is. A good song never dies. These guys write songs. And play them. Well. And do plenty of cocaine. Well. I was a little worried at first (not about the drugs, silly!); the title track starts off like a post-Lance Sheryl Crow (yikes!) but quickly corrects itself and slinks its way into a stadium-worthy anthem with a nod to 70's AM sunshine rock. "Where were you/where was I/when the shit began to fly..." But I don't condone their sporadic endorsements of the Yayo, and I don't mean Tony. (That's some inside hip hop shit, holla!)

Get these: "Clap Clap Clap," "My Darling," "Kicking and Screaming"
Wax it if you like: Squeeze, John Lennon, Brian Wilson, big, fat-ass harmonies, songs named after VD


Feist - Let It Die (Mushaboom)
This record has been out for some time now, but since this is my first review, you'll have to pardon my tardiness. Frankly, this record could've come out 10 years ago and I'd still be writing about it. Leslie Feist is a singer-songwriter known for her work with Broken Social Scene, but don't expect to hear Joan Baez whining about death and taxes or Aimee Mann bitching about....well, death. Leslie Feist is the leader of a new pack of sultry, eclectic genre-crossing female artists that seem to be popping up like boy bands. But I'm not complaining. Her voice is warm, syrupy and comfortable. Like challah french toast with an extra egg. The production is what really gets me - so simple and tasty, but produced by Gonzales? Of Kitty-Yo? The man who sang about showing his chest hair if he ever gets to Broadway? Wow. The world really is flat.

Get these: "One Evening," "Tout Document," "Inside Out"
Wax it if you like: Keren Ann, Esthero, Cat Power


Brooke Valentine - Thrill of the Chase (unreleased) (Virgin)
This didn't make it onto her album, Chain Letter, which defies logic. The commercially-available CD is hot, but it makes me wonder: Who's doing A&R over there? Helen Keller? Oh, I'm sorry. It's actually the dude on the left. Is it a dude? Those A&R people sure are tricky. Oh well, I guess it didn't fit into a format. Regardless, this is one of the best tracks I've heard from the new wave of Anti-Ashanti R&B singers (all of whom I welcome with open arms). Finally, an example of an R&B track that doesn't limit itself to re-sampling a sample that was sampled a few years ago. Rock, soul and even a flirtatious one-drop breakdown. Delicious. And the girl can sing. But it didn't make it onto the album, so you'll have to write your local Virgin Records A&R guy/girl and tell him/her that he/she needs to holla at me for some free tips.

Wax it if you like: Kelis, Amerie, Trina


Antony and the Johnsons - I am a Bird Now (Secretly Canadian)
You've read a billion reviews in every other magazine about this record. Or maybe you can't read but the A&R guy at Virgin lent you his brail keyboard (see Brooke Valentine review.) In a nutshell, the critics love Anfernee. I mean Anthony. I mean Antony. Therefore, to be different, I won't review this. And I don't really like it anyway. Reminds me off an off-Broadway perfomance in West Chelsea. New York, that is.

Wax it if you like: Yentl, Barbra Streisand impersonators


Be Your Own Pet - Damn Damn Leash (CD Single) (Beggars/XL)
These guys make me think of hopscotch and No-Doz. I don't know why. But I like both, so it can't be a bad combination. Nothing fancy, just fucking rock. Will they be remembered next year? Who knows. But I don't care because I'm all about the moment. Aight? I feel dizzy.

Get these: there's only three songs, duh
Wax it if you like: Blondie, Glass Candy, The Kills, Morningwood


Ben Folds - Songs for Silverman (Sony)
Ben had a band called the Five although they were only Three. I loved that record. There's no doubt that Ben can pen a song and play the hell out of an upright piano, but something about this record reminds me of Chapel Hill, North Carolina. You know, when it was a burgeoning music scene. A little too whiny for me. Put it through a rat-pedal and dirty it up a bit, Ben.

Wax it if you like: Um, Ben Folds?


Bloom - Osinner (Fighting Records)
Simply put, Cheap Trick passed the torch to Bloom. Guitar, bass, drums, and hooks to spare. (Maybe they can toss some leftovers to Interpol. Ouch, that hurt. Don't tell NME.) Please send this record to every mediocre 80s-retro-power-pop band in the world, chop it up into little pieces and have them ingest it. Maybe then it will sink in. I haven't seen these guys live, but I assume that they're fucking rock stars with a bevy of 17 yr old models feeding them champale-soaked grapes. Ah, but it didn't come easy. You see, these guys got beat up by football players for wearing black eyeliner. Best lyric? "More than a miracle, it's a god-damn work of art." Genius.

Get these: "Don't Tell a Dead Man How To Die," "Black Eyeliner," "Sew Your Own Hands On"
Wax it if you like: New Pornographers, Cheap Trick, Robert Plant's package showing thru his pants


Electric Eel Shock - Go America! (Import)
What is up with this? I'm scratching my head, trying to figure out if I should join the Hipster Press Bandwagon (the HPB) or really speak my mind. Then I hear "S.O.S." I am falling out of my chair because this guy is hilarious. Is he Danish? Elf? I'm trying to decide if this actually a band or some sort of Lynyrd Skynrd / Jello Biafra / Glen Danzig mash up. Then I find out that this is a band from Japan and now I want to meet them and kiss their feet. Somehow they manage channel the Blues Brothers as they plea for "Suicide or Rock n Roll." Jim Belushi chose the former, which might be better than having to sit thru another Puffy Ami Yumi marathon. Purely novelty. Like Japanese Rockabilly. Just don't give these guys a variety show, unless you want to see day-glo mannequins with enlarged organs.

Get these: "S.O.S.," "Suicide or Rock N Roll"
Wax it if you like: scary munchkins with Danzig t-shirts