Saturday, March 11, 2006

THE STAR SPANGLED FLAV


So I’m on the phone with my good friend Senator Tang the other day. A word of advice: If you ever go to Bangkok and care to roll the dice, Mr. Tang is your man. You like anonymous Blumpkins? Tang. An Ice Stocking desert topped off by the Pastry Chef? Tang. You get my point. The Sentator has a penchant for exaggerating, although sometimes I can’t really understand him because he has no tongue. Anyway, he told me that Flava Flav showed up at the World Baseball Classic a few days ago and performed a rousing rendition of the Star Spangled Banner for the Korean / Japanese game. What the hell is a World Baseball Classic anyway? Apparently Flav is really big in Asia, but since he didn’t know their national anthems, they were fine just to have him. Yes, it is hard to believe, but then Senator Tang forwarded me this mp3. There’s even a guy jumping out of the bleachers, a gong and a toilet (???) I’m not sure what to believe anymore, but this gives me hope.

Check it out:
"The Star Spangled Flav"

Music Reviews: March 2006 - Old Men Rock


I heard someone say the other day that the Rolling Stones should just hang it up - - watching them is like watching a bingo game at the Elk’s Lodge. Then I heard someone call U2 “dad rock.” I’m perplexed. I suppose these people didn’t notice when MTV, the arbiter of good taste, cut to commercial in the middle of David Gilmour’s “Comfortably Numb” guitar solo during Live 8 last summer. If that had happened during one of Omarion’s new joints the shit woulda hit the fan! Ah, to be young and stupid again.

Maybe we can all learn something from aging rock stars. And I’m not just talking about Keith Richards’ blood transfusion. Beats the shit out of a facial, no? From an artistic perspective, these guys need to perform. Actually, that’s all they know how to do. Can you picture Mick Jagger waking up in the morning without a gaggle of bi-sexual hussies in his lair? Neither can he - - the thought of the same breakfast on a daily basis must scare him back to the road. Plus, these guys definitely need the money. Over the years, they've figured out how to fuse art and commerce seamlessly. And I’m not only referring to the sublte deals with Microsoft, Fidelity and Apple. They’ve actually managed to bury the shit in their songs. That’s right. “A Bigger Bang.” Straight up Viagra pitch. “Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own.” Assisted living, son. These guys are on pharmaceutical payrolls and they’re not ashamed to talk about it. I guess somebody’s gotta pay for all the the hookers...

With this in mind, I would like to share some releases that prove a point - - old men rock.





David Gilmour – On An Island (Columbia)

Gilmour is one of the most prolific artists to ever grace the stage. If you say you don’t like Pink Floyd, I say you’re a pansy. On his first solo effort in 18 years, Gilmour does what he does best - - writes, sings and plays guitar. His wife Polly Samson, who contributed lyrics to Floyd’s first post-Roger Waters album “The Division Bell” pens the lyrics. And while she doesn’t share the whimsical wordplay of Waters, lyrics like “So break the bread and pour the wine / I need no blessings but I’m counting mine / Life is much more than money buys / When I see the faith in my children’s eyes” seem to reflect Gilmour’s existence in a post-Floyd world. Many years have passed since the glory days of Pink Floyd, and you can hear the maturity in his voice. This isn’t to say that he sounds older; he is as silky-smooth as ever and his signature guitar is fully intact. After the mesmerizing opener “Castellorizon,” David Crosby and Graham Nash stop by to drop some dream-like harmonies on the title track. This Heaven” is a bluesy romp that proves there is more to Gilmour than heady arrangements. The rest of the album paints a mesmerizing picture while Gilmour’s unforgettable voice provides a unique narrative. Lush orchestrations, incredible guitar work (duh it’s David Gilmour) and enough sonic wrenches to make the most avid Floyd fan happy.

Get these: this is an album, g money.
Wax it if you like: ummm, Pink Floyd?

Check out "This Heaven"

or download it:
This Heaven




Neil Diamond – 12 Songs (Columbia)

This is definitely NOT the Neil Diamond that you’ve heard at countless frat bars, his voice blaring “Sweet Caroline” to which everyone shouts “Ba Ba Ba!” as if to answer the man with the feathered hair and gold lamee Vegas jumpsuit. Nor is this the Neil Diamond that dazzles the dollar slot beauties with his apple-sauce rendition of “America.” You see, before Neil was making his rounds on the blue-haired chitlin circuit, he was actually an amazing songwriter. This is what producer Rick Rubin (LL Cool J, Chili Peppers, Johnny Cash) aimed to extract from Diamond, and he does so with amazing results. Most of the tracks were recorded in one take, with Neil playing guitar and singing at the same time. (I’ve heard he can chew gum and walk, too.) Neil’s voice is up-front and personal – you can hear the joy, pain and vulnerability come alive. Rubin enlisted an eclectic array of studio musicians, from soul-stalwart Billy Preston on organ (he wrote “You Are So Beautiful” that Joe Cocker made famous) to members of Tom Petty’s band. The songs are intimate and the lyrics are astounding – “12 Songs” proves that Diamond is a true songwriter. From the opening lyrics “If you’re thinkin’ my life / is a hoot and a holler / from the start of the day / to the dark of the night / that it’s ringin’ bell / that you only wanna follow / better trust me when I say / I’m just tryin’ to get it right,” Diamond and Rubin paint a picture of a true artist that was hidden beneath bad hair and puffy shirts for too many years. Let’s hope he doesn’t show up on TRL next week. Cherry-O, baby.

Get these: get them all
Wax it if you like: the unexpected

Check out "Hell Yeah"

or download it:
Hell Yeah






Paul Weller – As Is Now (Yep Roc)

You might not know who Paul Weller is. Suffice to say, without Paul Weller, the Spice Girls would still be making records and England would only be known for their amazing cuisine. As part of the ground-breaking trio The Jam, he inspired everyone from The Stone Roses to Oasis, The Arctic Monkeys and beyond. And he’s still making great records. After leaving The Jam at the ripe age of 25, Paul went on to form the Style Council and began recording solo records in the early 90s. Since then, he’s released a number of critically-acclaimed solo records, played guitar and sang backup vocals on Oasis’ “Champagne Supernova” (the Gallagher brothers nicknamed him “The Modfather”) and continues to tour like a 19-year old. But don’t expect him to implant a Nicole Kidman face-tightener on his head anytime soon. “As Is Now” is a great record – from the Kaiser-Chiefs-esque “From The Floorboards Up” to a few stirring ballads, Weller is in old form. His songwriting, guitar playing and vocals are top-notch and remind me of the youthful energy of The Jam. A few tracks teeter on Style-Council honky-soul, but he thankfully saves them for last. Do yourself a favor - - get “The Sound of the Jam,” “Stanley Road” and “Wild Wood” and you will soon realize why Paul Weller is a true legend.

Get These: "Blink," "From the Floorboards Up," 'All on a Misty Morning"
Wax it if you like: Britpop, Kaiser Chiefs, Arctic Monkeys

Check out "From the Floorboards Up"

or download it:
From the Floorboards Up