rUSs Weekly - Why Chunky left the Monkeys

The Cylinder is expanding like Courtney Love's coochie! You know what they say: the bigger the waistband, the deeper the quicksand... As I was traveling through the backwoods of Kentucky last week, I met an interesting fellow. Russ. He is a living, breathing Ned Beatty character - complete with a greeaazy pal named Cletus. Anyway, Russ gets ALL the dirt and has agreed to let me share it with you. You won't find it anywhere else, unless you go to his house and manage to escape without becoming his Gimp. He knows my work on the Vegas stage, so I was spared the intrusion. Ladies and gentlemen, the Cylinder presents the first installment of rUSs Weekly - Why Chunky left the Monkeys...